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Starbucking
Hundra
Marquis De Sade's Justine
Numb
Pervert!
Sacred Flesh
Antiseen: 20 Year Anniversary Show
Boxcar Satan: No One at the Wheel
Black Snake Moan
Grindhouse
Defenceless
Able Edwards
Godzilla Raids Again
Mothra vs. Godzilla
Psychobilly Sickness: Episode 1
The Marquis De Sade’s Justine
(1977, Redemption UK)

*Note* This review applies to the just released import DVD of this film from Redemption Video. For those without a player capable of converting PAL to NTSC, there is a US disc of this film available from Image Entertainment.

Also known as Cruel Passion, The Marquis De Sade’s Justine is as much a philosophical treatise as it is a sexploitation film. And as anyone actually familiar with De Sade should know, that’s exactly as it should be. In fact, there’s relatively little sexual material in this film at all, so if that’s your interest, you’d best look elsewhere.

As in the De Sade novel this is based on, Justine tells the story of two sisters; Justine and Juliette. When their parents die and leave them penniless, Juliette decides to use the one asset she has, her body, to make her way through life. Justine, on the other hand, believes she must lead a life of virtue. Ironically, it is Justine who finds herself involved in far greater crimes and misfortunes than her sister.

Koo Stark, whose biggest claim to fame is that she banged Prince Andrew for a while, is attractive but not especially charismatic in the lead role. Lydia Lisle as her sister comes across with far more personality, although to be fair a lot of this is due to the way characters are written. Of the rest of the cast, Louise Ife as Pastor John and Martin Potter as Lord Carlisle carry themselves well, and each gets a few choice tidbits of Sadean philosophy to deliver.

Justine does a good job of conveying some of the substance of De Sade’s rather than the sensationalism most films dealing with the Marquis opt for. I wouldn’t say it’s a great film, but if you’re interested in the subject matter it’s a good one. Although I prefer Jess Franco’s 1969 version of Justine slightly, this version is more true to the source material. All in all, I’d give Justine 6 ½ out of 10. (Bob Ignizio)

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Numb
(2003, Heretic Films)

This is a serious, very stylized science fiction art film about a dystopian future (is there any other kind in the movies these days?) where the entire population is hooked up to a drug called “the drip”. Claire (Jennifer West Savitch) is one of the few people who hasn’t used the drug, and she is on a quest to find her father, inventor of the drug. Claire’s only hope appears to be Miles (Dominik Overstreet), also drug free having been genetically altered so that he can act as a caretaker for the addicts.

That sounds straightforward enough, but this movie goes back and forth between multiple time lines so often it’ll take you awhile to figure out what’s going on, and whether the film’s story is supposed to be “real” or one of those “it’s all in their head” type movies. And although the movie clocks in at only 77 minutes, the pacing drags in my opinion.

That said, there were some things I really liked about this movie. First of all, it has a great look. The set design and costuming make the most of a low budget, creating a distinctive world with relatively few props. At times, especially the party scenes, I was reminded of the futuristic fetish porn world of Michael Ninn’s ‘Latex’. I also have to say the performances are very good. And I think the basic ideas behind the movie are interesting and worthy of exploring in a film.

Unfortunately, for me it’s just a bit to pretentious and a bit too confusing for its own good. I feel bad saying that, because on many levels I really admire what writer/director Michael Ferris Gibson has achieved here. But the bottom line is, despite all the positives in Numb, they just don’t add up to a fully satisfying whole. On my one to ten scale, Numb scores a 6. (Bob Ignizio)

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Pervert! (2006, TLA Releasing)

No, Pervert! isn’t a bio pic about me. As they freely admit in the “making of” featurette included on this disc, writer Mike Davis and director Jonathan Yudis set out to make a loving homage to Meyer’s films, and for the most part they’ve succeeded. If you’ve seen any of Russ Meyer’s later period films like Supervixen, Up!, and Beneath the Valley of the Ultra Vixens you’ll be in familiar territory here.

James (Sean Andrews) has decided to spend the summer at the dessert ranch house of his father Hezekiah (Darrell Sandeen), a tough old man who makes sculptures out of raw meat in his spare time. Also at the ranch is Hezekiah’s young girlfriend Cheryl (Mary Carey). The plot goes through a series of bizarre twists and turns, ultimately veering into horror territory as Cheryl and other women turn up dead. James suspects his dad and has the local sanitarium send out a Nurse named

Patty (Juliette Clark) to evaluate Hezekiah’s sanity. But James has a dark secret of his own, and even as he starts to fall for Patty he begins to suspect his father might not be the killer after all.

Pervert! maintains a nice tone throughout, playing up the humor while not forgetting about the horror and the horniness. Although there was no way Pervert! could have hoped to deliver the same level of cinematography as its inspiration (Meyer was a true artist with the camera), the film does have a nice look, and considering the budget and short shooting schedule, it’s amazing how professional the final product is. But Pervert!’s biggest asset is its actors. Sandeen and Andrews are both excellent, and exactly the kind of character actors Meyer loved to cast. Director Yudis also does a great bit part as a closeted mechanic who wants to discuss alternate methods of payment with Andrews. As for the ladies, they’re all the sort of full figured women Meyer would have loved. But just as important is the way the girls deliver their ridiculous dialogue with just the right amount of campiness. Ultimately, Pervert! achieves most of what it sets out to do. This being an homage, obviously Pervert! isn’t the most original movie. That said, it does still manage to bring a few ideas of its own to the table. The movie goes to extremes of absurdity I think even Meyer would have shied away from, and for the most part makes them work. I thought the ending kind of went over the cliff, but even still I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. It’s just good natured, naughty fun, and I’m going to give this one a solid 8 out of 10. (Bob Ignizio)

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Sacred Flesh
(2000, Redemption UK)

*Note* This review applies to the just released import DVD of this film from Redemption Video. For those without a player capable of converting PAL to NTSC, there is a US disc of this film available from Heretic Films.

Although nunsploitation films were largely a product of the seventies, British filmmaker Nigel Wingrove shows there’s still life in the genre with this 21st century take on sinful sisters. Part of me says, “Why bother?” I’ve already got the whole “hypocrisy of the church” message from countless other films, and Sacred Flesh doesn’t offer any new insights in this area. But then I remember – hot chicks in habits engaging in all manner of ungodly activities never goes out of style.

There’s a marginal plot here involving a Mother Superior (Sally Tremaine) having an internal dialogue with Mary Magdalene (Kristina Bill) about sin, desire, and whatnot, and a monk who shows up at the convent to investigate. But however sincere this part of the movie might be, it’s really little more than a framing sequence to get from one naughty vignette to another, and never really pays off.

As for the vignettes themselves, they are basically high end softcore porn for the Cradle of Filth fan club. There’s lots of blasphemy, lesbianism, and S & M, which is great if that’s your thing. If you don’t care for that particular kink cocktail, however, there’s probably not much here for you. I did learn one thing from watching this film, though. Apparently nuns living during the time of the inquisition shaved their pubic hair. Who knew?

Bottom line, this is a well shot and visually imaginative bit of smut that, for its intended audience, delivers the goods. As far as softcore goth porn goes, this rates around an 8 out of 10. The only thing keeping it from scoring higher is that it starts out kind of slow with some unnecessary plot that just feels like padding. If you were looking for an actual movie somewhere between the writhing naked flesh and religious imagery, this would rate closer to a 5 out of 10. I trust my readers can decide for themselves which rating is more applicable for their individual case. (Bob Ignizio)

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Starbucking
(2007, Heretic Films)

This is an odd but entertaining little documentary about a guy named Winter (just Winter; that’s his legal name) whose hobby is trying to visit every Starbucks Coffee Shop in the world. He’s been doing this now for over 10 years. Winter realizes this is sort of a pointless pursuit in and of itself, but he simply wanted to do something different. And I’d say he’s succeeded, hav

Winter is definitely a character. I’m not sure if I’d want to spend too much time hanging out with him in real life (or anyone who has as much caffeine coursing through their veins as this guy does), but spending an hour and a half watching him in this movie was fun.

As goofy as all this might seem, there’s even some actual philosophy behind what Winter is doing. He says that we have enough resources in the world today that people shouldn’t have to work as much as they do. Instead, they should be able to devote more time to various creative or just plain fun projects and pursuits. He’s aware this isn’t necessarily practical, especially for people living in third world countries and so on. It’s simply his vision of an ideal world. (Bob Ignizio)

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Hundra
(1983, Subversive Cinema)

I’ve been wanting to see this movie ever since I first read about it in Joe Bob Briggs’ Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In. It’s one of the few movies Joe Bob gave a four star rating to that I had never seen. Until now, that is, because the fine folks at Subversive Cinema have given the film their usual top notch treatment for its first ever DVD release.

So what’s a Hundra, you’re probably wondering. Well, Hundra is Laurene Landon, a bad-ass barbarian from an all-female tribe. Although Hundra’s tribe just wants to be left alone, interacting with men only long enough to insure they don’t die out, some guys just don’t like the idea of independent women. In fact, they don’t like it so much that they ride into Hundra’s village kill everyone. Hundra returns from a hunting trip to find the carnage, and an ambush. Apparently she was the only one in the tribe who knew how to fight worth a damn, because she manages to kill everyone single handed.

This is a well done chase and fight sequence, and there’s none of that shaky cam “you are there” bullshit like every action scene these days. They knew how to shoot a fight scene back in the eighties, dammit.

Anyway, now that she’s all that’s left of her tribe, Hundra goes to see some old lady who lives in a cave. The old lady tells her that she has to have a baby so the tribe can go on. Hundra says, “no man will ever penetrate my body, with his sword or himself.” But since they didn’t have turkey basters back then, Hundra eventually realizes she’s going to have to do the deed if her tribe is to carry on. So after a gratuitous but not entirely unwelcome scene in which Hundra does her Lady Godiva routine, we get to the main plot. Hundra sets off in search of a baby’s daddy, but of course there are complications.

This is just a fun low budget sword and sorcery movie with lots of good fight scenes, cheesy dialogue, and a rousing soundtrack by Ennio Morricone (included on a bonus CD with the first 5000 copies of this release). There’s some sex and nudity, but despite the rather high breast count Joe Bob recorded for this film, most of the breasts are just casually in the background. If anything, the movie has kind of a feminist slant. I have no idea if it was, but Hundra could easily have been the inspiration for Xena.

As far as the technical aspects go, everything is solid. In particular cinematographer John Cabrera does a good job making this film look like it has a bigger budget than it does. Perhaps most importantly for this kind of film, the fight choreography is excellent. And since Laurene Landon did almost all her stunts, that helps the believability a lot. Landon comes across very well in her action scenes, and it’s a shame she only did one other movie in this vein (1984’s Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold).

There’s probably no way Hundra could have lived up to my expectations after years of waiting to see it. Does it really deserve the full four out of four stars that Joe Bob gave it? Even by Drive-In movie standards, probably not. But it is a solid and entertaining film for its genre. If you’re a fan of barbarian movies or movies with women kicking ass and taking names, you’ll definitely enjoy Hundra. I’d give it a respectable 7 ½ out of 10. (Bob Ignizio)

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Defenceless: A Blood Symphony
(2004, Subversive Cinema)

I can’t say I liked Defenceless, but I don’t really think this is a movie that wants to be liked. I’m reminded of the tagline from Africa Addio – “Every scene looks you straight in the eye… and spits!” Well, maybe not every scene, but there should be more than enough uncomfortable material here for all but the most jaded viewers.

The basic plot of Defenceless seems on the surface to be your standard rape/revenge story. A woman (Susanne Hausschmid, who also co-produced the film) refuses to sell her property to a group of real estate developers. So the developers wage a campaign of terror on the woman and her family, killing first her husband, her lesbian lover, and finally the woman herself. Then things get weird. The woman returns from the dead as some sort of zombie or vampire and systematically hunts down and kills those who did her wrong. Did I mention all of this takes place without any dialogue?

Unfortunately, the movie doesn’t entirely work for me. It feels as if Savage was trying to walk a line between gritty realism and a more symbolic, art film approach, and I just didn’t feel the two approaches meshed together well. In particular, the main plot feels very contrived and undermines the attempts at realism. I mean, we never know why it’s so important to the woman to hold on to her property that she’s willing to risk the lives of her loved ones. And I know we’ve all been conditioned by the movies to see greedy capitalists as amoral bad guys, but I really don’t think too many of them utilize rape, torture, and murder as their main bargaining tools.

Despite my problems with the film, I do have to admire a lot of what writer/director Mark Savage accomplishes here. Defenceless has a number of very effective scenes and images, and shows a definite talent behind the camera. This is definitely not your typical no budget shot on video feature, and despite a low budget Defenceless looks very polished and professional. As for the actors, they all do a good job of conveying their feelings and moving the story along despite the lack of dialogue. But if I’m being completely honest, I just can’t recommend this one. I’ll be interested in seeing what Savage does in the future, but for me the best I can say about Defenceless is that it’s an interesting experiment. 5 out of 10. (Bob Ignizio)

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Able Edwards
(2004, Heretic Films)

Over the years, I’ve probably seen way more shot on video, super low budget movies than the average person. And as much as I’d like to shout about how this is the future of independent cinema and all the rising talent, the fact is most of this stuff is crap. But every once in a while something truly amazing comes along. Able Edwards is something amazing.

Like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow or Sin City, Able Edwards was shot entirely with actors performing against a green screen, with the sets and backgrounds added in digitally later. This was the first film to use that technique, and although the budget is far less than Sky Captain or Sin City, the results are nearly as impressive.

More importantly, though, Able Edwards has a great story to tell. That story is set in a future where mankind has had to abandon the earth to live in an orbiting space station. On board the station, the Edwards Corporation has long ago abandoned

their roots in the entertainment business for manufacturing androids, but their profits are stagnating. The company decides to clone the titular character, a Walt Disney like figure who founded the company decades ago and who, upon his death, was cryogenically frozen. The way the story unfolds is similar to Citizen Kane, as various people who knew the Edwards clone are questioned at a hearing, and occasional fake newsreel footage is also used.

This is an incredibly ambitious film by any standards, but director Graham Robertson pulls it off well. It presents a convincing vision of the future that feels natural rather than drawing attention to itself. Instead of trying to overwhelm the audience with action and special effects, The film is more interested in exploring ideas. Helping Robertson succeed is a great cast of relative unknowns, in particular Scott Kelly Galbreath as the Edwards and his clone, and Keri Bruno as the Ewards clone’s wife. My rating is 8 out of 10. (Bob Ignizio)

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Godzilla Raids Again (1955, Classic Media)
                                and
Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964, Classic Media)





Godzilla fans rejoice! Finally there is a U.S. video company releasing the classic giant monster movies in formats that treat the films and their fans with respect. These discs include both the dubbed and re-edited U.S. versions of each title and the original Japanese versions with subtitles. In addition, both discs include audio commentary by Godzilla experts, and informative featurettes.

Godzilla Raids Again was the second Godzilla film, and the only other film besides the original to be shot in black and white and in a non-widescreen format. Raids Again began the formula of having Godzilla face off against other monsters, in this case the spine backed four legged dinosaur Aguirus. This movie also maintains some of the serious tone of the first film. The American version of the film, retitled Gigantis the Fire Monster, has major differences from the Japanese cut. I think this is one of the weaker movies in the series, but it’s still Godzilla so 6 out of 10.

Mothra vs. Godzilla is considered by many Godzilla fans to be the best film in the series. While I personally prefer Ghidorah the Three Headed Monster, there’s no doubt that this is a rousing and well made entry. In this case, the American version of the film was not tampered with severely, and in fact includes an extra scene of Godzilla being attacked by missiles that is pretty cool. The only thing recommending the Japanese versions is that the dubbing on the U.S. makes the film play sillier than it really is. This is a solid 8 out of 10 for sheer fun. (Bob Ignizio)


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Black Snake Moan
(2007, Paramount Vantage)

How can you not love that poster?

Based on the above imagery, one might assume that Black Snake Moan is pure trashy exploitation. Well, you'd be partly right. Director Craig Brewer was almost certainly influenced by seventies drive-in and exploitation movies, something that was apparent even in his debut feature Hustle and Flow. But like the best of his influences, Brewer not only wants to entertain us; he has something to say as well.

In the case of Black Snake Moan, I think what Brewer is trying to say is that we're all flawed people. We should try to overcome our own flaws not because of any heavenly reward, but because it makes our time on this earth better. And although we should help one another, we don't really have any right to try and change another person. In addition to that noble message, we also get Christina Ricci writhing around

in a sexual frenzy, fucking anything that moves, and getting dragged around on a chain by Samuel L. Jackson. What's not to like? Ricci and Jackson deliver solid lead performances, and the supporting cast is strong as well. I've seen a number of reviews point out that Justin Timberlake isn't quite up to the task as Ricci's boyfriend, but in all fairness the script doesn't give him much to work with. He's just kind of a generic "nice guy", and doesn't get enough screen time to be fleshed out beyond that.

Oh yeah, I have to mention one stand out scene before I wrap this up. At one point in the movie, Sam Jackson has gone into town leaving Ricci chained up in his house. A local boy shows up to get some butterbeans from Jackson. When he knocks on the door, Ricci drags him inside and slams the door behind her like the scene in Texas Chain Saw Massacre where Leatherface first appears. I'm pretty sure it's an intentional homage (the only one I noticed in the film), and it really drives home the degree of Ricci's sexual compulsion while at the same time providing a good laugh, even if you don't recognize the reference.

Overall I'd have to say this is a solid piece of filmmaking. Brewer is proving himself to be a true auteur, complete with the recurring motifs that go along with such a distinction. In both Hustle and Flow and this film, there is a scene that would erupt into violence in a more typical film, but which Brewer chooses to resolve civilly instead. In both films, Brewer works with the language of the exploitation film, but uses it to tell genuinely moving, human stories. While I can't say Black Snake Moan is perfect, I definitely enjoyed it. My rating: 8 ½ out of 10 stars. (Bob Ignizio)

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Boxcar Satan: No One at the Wheel
(Dogfingers Recordings)
I suppose you could describe San Antonio’s Boxcar Satan as jagged deconstruction of the blues replete with marching bass lines and scratchy strings. Elements of rock and jazz continually fizz up through the rootsy mélange, with big chunks of Tom Waits and Captain Beefheart also shimmering brightly through the wreckage. They have an avant garde vibe, but haven’t fully stepped from the shadow of their influences. Sometimes they can be dead-on and successfully sculpt music with a Daedalean finesse, while other times too brazenly basking in their outsider personas in songs that strive to transcend tired formulas but feel too self-aware, quirky, or unappealing. The seven videos included here naturally follow the same dichotomy, but with camera shots and skillful editing miles above the average homemade band video. They conjure up images of hobos, sideshows, seedy bars, dark city streets, vice, sin, snake handlers, murder, transients, cheap hotel rooms, and other snapshots of the societal fringes.

While Boxcar Satan soars above 99% of the other bands here in San Antonio, largely because of their disinterest in bland roots rock rehashing, and several of their songs do legitimately tickle my happy spots, too often I feel they are just on the cusp of being more than a good concept and interesting music. Somehow they don’t manage to quite get into my blood and make me feel it in the heart.

In addition to the videos, you also get ten live songs of quite good sound quality from an art show in 2004, an interview with the band on KAOS radio, and an interview with Ram Ayala, who was the owner of San Antonio’s best music venue, Tacoland. Ram was tragically murdered in 2005, the year before I moved here, and he and his bar are clearly sorely missed by all who don’t agree with the mantra of Keeping San Antonio Lame. All in all, athough I am obviously conflicted over how tightly to embrace Boxcar Satan, this is definitely a well put together effort of an important local band that strikes me differently every time I listen to them, depending on my glucose levels and mental state. Right now on my third consecutive viewing of the videos, I seem to be synching up with their biorhythms a little better. - Ben

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Antiseen: 20 Year Anniversary
(TKO Records)



After twenty years of Southern Punk Rock and relentless liver damage, Antiseen played their anniversary show in their native North Carolina in 2003, and this DVD documents the event. It includes 34 songs from the very bowels of their recorded history up till now. Appropriately the band is emceed by Thee Cosmic Commander of Wrestling as they literally bleed through songs brimming with a wry redneck wit. I’ve always liked Antiseen, especially in small doses, but of the six CDs I’ve accumulated of theirs over the years, none have ever made it onto my ipod. The songs tend to blend together for me, and though they’re better than the sonic vomit of a thousand other bands, they don’t really thrill me that much. If you happen to be a big fan, though, you’ll want to have this DVD on your shelf somewhere between your copy of Roadhouse and the Santo movies. - Ben

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Psychobilly Sickness: Episode One
(Hairball 8 Records)
The intent of this DVD is to introduce psychobilly as a genre, and to explain what it is and who are its main proponents. Much like punk rock, psychobilly professes to be a lifestyle. Unlike punk’s openness to politics and social criticism, however, the psychobilly lifestyle adamantly abstains from substance, preferring mostly light-hearted and horror-themed topics. Its lifestyle component is mainly just a way of dressing and a strong interest in monsters and B-movies. That’s all fine and good, but it doesn’t give you a lot to talk about in a documentary. This DVD covers the first uses of the psychobilly term, who played “real” psychobilly first, and other relatively dry topics. Interview snippets with bands are more abundant than actual decent quality footage, and seldom is more than a quarter of a song played through. Not much of an enticing introduction for those new to the genre.

They do speak with a lot of bands, mostly backstage and at different locations of opportunity, but usually nothing too interesting is uncovered. I would have liked to hear band and fan stories from back in the day, funny anecdotes, or even some hardball questions floated. Ryan Davis of Hairball 8 provides a lot of the commentary while annoyingly slouched way back in a chair for some reason, further drawing away from any visual appeal. Perhaps it could have also taken a more stylized approach with its structure to make it more engaging. The illustrations on the package and menu are also pretty unappealing and amateurish. Although The Meteors’ importance to the formation of the psychobilly scene is stressed, also discussed is P. Paul’s antisocial and repulsively self-aggrandizing attitude, which happily added a little conflict to the video, even while the filmmakers themselves stroke his ego. They also explore the Japanese scene as the far flung reaches of the genre, where it has long ago taken root and remained extremely vital. On the whole, as someone who has listened to psychobilly and been familiar with it for years, it is hard for me to see this as newbie might. For me, I’d rather just see entire videos by the bands. I have never really been interested in what it takes to be classified as a genuine psychobilly (or garage rocker, punk rocker, or skinhead for that matter), nor the different names for an upright bass, how to do your hair, or whatever else, as much as I just like listening to good music. And why is the upright bass essential for being psychobilly, when earlier they maintained and established the Meteors as the godfathers of psychobilly and they had an electric bass? This is way more of a how-to-be-psychobilly video than an entertainment video. There is also a Texas (and especially a Hairball 8 band roster) bias, attaching more importance to certain bands than an outside chronicler might. In the end I think this most importantly misses the comedic, not-taking-yourself-too-seriously aspect of the genre, which is one of its best attributes. - Ben

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Grindhouse
(2007, The Weinstein Company)

I have to admit, I had my doubts going into Grindhouse. I like both Quentin Tarrantino and Robert Rodriguez, but I'm not a drooling fanboy of theirs, either. The last time the two of them teamed up for a movie was From Dusk Til Dawn in 1996, and to be frank I thought that movie sucked hard. Plus I guess I'm just a little burnt out on everyone trying to recapture the glory days of seventies and eighties exploitation movies with multi million dollar budgets and big stars. It's an oxymoron out of the gate, you know? But what the hell, I figured I'd check it out.

Well, I'm happy to say that Grindhouse turned out to be an enormously entertaining movie-going experience for me. If nothing else, it deserves credit for bringing back the idea of a double feature, and in doing so forcing two directors not exactly known for the economy of their storytelling to limit themselves to an hour and a half.

I was also happy that they didn't try to bullshit the audience and set the movies in the seventies or early eighties. Both Planet Terror and Death Proof (the two features that make up Grindhouse) are set in the 21st century.

The best way to approach this review is to take each segment as its own movie. Grindhouse starts with a trailer for Machete, a violent revenge film starring Danny Trejo and Cheech Marin. Like the feature it precedes, Planet Terror, Machete is directed by Robert Rodriguez. As any good exploitation movie trailer should do, the trailer for Machete packs as much violence, action, and memorable dialogue as it can into a couple minutes. I'm glad to hear that this is actually going to be made into a movie in 2008, because it looks like it could be fun.

Speaking of fun, Planet Terror is just a non stop hoot. Rather than make a pure homage/rip off of classic sleaze cinema, Rodriguez has made a loving parody. It reminds me a bit of Airplane! or the king fu movie sequence in Kentucky Fried Movie in the way the actors all play their roles completely straight, despite being given some hilarious dialogue and being placed in some of the most re-goddamned-diculous situations ever seen in a movie. I thought the machine gun leg of the Rose McGowan character looked stupid in the previews for Grindhouse, but in the context of the movie and the tone Rodriguez decided to go for, it works. Also working to further that tone is the way the film print is intentionally scratched, missing frames and reels, and in general looking like the battered old print of a second feature that it is.

Literally gallons of blood, slime, and pus get slathered on the actors. Body parts get ripped off. Small children and dogs are killed. A character carries around a bag full of testicles from henchmen who have failed him. Fergie gets eaten alive by mutants. In short, Planet Terror has just about everything you could want from a mutant holocaust movie. Freddie Rodriguez makes a surprisingly good hero, and in addition to co-lead McGowan the strong cast includes Naveen Andrews, Bruce Willis, Josh Brolin, Michael Biehn, Marley Shelton, Tom Savini, and Jeff Fahey. Of course Quentin Tarantino turns up in a bit part, too. Overall, I'd give Planet Terror a solid 8 on the 1 to 10 scale for pure fun. Or in grindhouse/drive-in terms, it's a little better than Humanoids From the Deep or Galaxy of Terror, but not quite as good as Piranha or Death Race 2000.

Following Planet Terror we get three more trailers. Unlike Machete, none of these has been announced as a real movie yet, but we can hope. The first of these trailers is for Thanksgiving, directed by Eli (Hostel, Cabin Fever) Roth. Goddamn is this some funny shit. More than any other part of Grindhouse, this trailer really captures the sleaze, the cheese, and the filmmaking ineptitude that characterized grindhouse movies. Rob Zombie is up next with Werewolf Women of the S.S., sort of a mix of Ilsa She Wolf of the S.S. and a Paul Naschy werewolf movie. While not as gloriously perfect as Roth's trailer, this looks like it would be fun, too. And finally we get a trailer from Edgar (Shaun of the Dead) Wright for a movie called Don't. It's hard to tell exactly what kind of horror movie Don't is, but the way it makes fun of all the "Don't go in the/answer the/look in the" movie titles of the seventies is great. This is a close second to Thanksgiving for my favorite part of Grindhouse. Together with the Machete trailer that opened the movie, I'd give the trailers a combined 10 out of 10. Definitely the best part of the movie.

The tone changes quite a bit with Quentin Tarantino's segment Death Proof. It's not without humor, but it's not the over the top parody that the rest of Grindhouse is. That's fine, but I'm still not entirely sure what Tarantino was going for with this one. There's a lot to like in Death Proof, but the trademark Tarantino dialogue segments started to wear on me. The movie starts with a good 20 minutes of 4 girls talking about random inane bullshit in a bar. Also in the bar is Kurt Russel as "Stuntman Mike". It's hard to say much more on this segment without revealing too much, so I won't. All I'll say is that the second half of the movie is more or less like the first half, but with a different group of girls. The difference is (and what redeems the movie) that this half of the movie culminates in a really kick ass car chase sequence.

Tarantino is clearly going for something a little more than just a pure exploitation with his segment, and I respect that. However, I don't think he entirely succeeds. I don't mind slow moving films, but the pacing here just doesn't work well. The first group of girls really didn't need as much time spent with them as the film does. Their story really only serves the purpose of setting up the second half of the movie, and some of that screen time could have been spent giving the second group of girls little bits of business. You know, characters actually doing things instead of just telling anecdotes about old movies and saying "motherfucker" a lot, something Tarantino still has trouble with.

I also don't know why Tarantino did damaged movie gags with his segment. He didn't go whole hog like Rodriguez, and the little bits he does here and there (including another missing reel) just feel out of place. What would have been wrong with just having this be the new release main feature that was just premiering and hadn't been fucked up yet? If it weren't for the extremely satisfying third act, I'd rate this a lot lower. But since that awesome car chase did redeem the movie, I give Death Proof 7 out of 10.

Some closing comments on the entire package: I found it kind of strange that a movie called Grindhouse had almost no nudity or sexual situations. In fact, the "missing reels" gag in both features takes place just as we're about to get a sex scene. Boobie shortage aside, Grindhouse really brought a sense of fun back to seeing horror/exploitation movies in a theater that I haven't had in a while. Even such excellent recent attempts at grindhouse style horror like The Devil's Rejects and Hostel have focused more on the grim, seedy side of grindhouse cinema. Grindhouse is more like the Roger Corman/AIP school of schlock cinema. Like Corman's flicks, the two features that comprise Grindhouse are still edgy, but not the kinds of movies that are going to make you feel like taking a shower after you watch them. So I guess if you add it all up, the total Grindhouse experience would warrant an 8 ½ out of 10. It's just a lot of sick, twisted fun, and that's good enough for me.

(Bob Ignizio)

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