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Name: Messy Stench How did you come up with your name? It was the only nickname that anyone could come up with that rhymed with my real name when i was growing up. my middle-school best friend's older sister was a cunt and would try to make me feel like poo, but when she started calling me messy, i acquired this raging erection which has yet to subside. Age: 25 Measurements: 36a/27/37 Day job: techno freakout prostitution mob-ring 2003 Night-time activities: hmmmm...i play with cameras, soiled undergarments, computer insides, destructed media, mud, anything that ticks and beeps and hopefully vibrates, boys if they're lucky, mind-altering gifts, cyber transformations....oh, and i can cartoon like a motherfucker... i make fun, i make messes. i make stains. i make things that smell funny. i make things that people stare at in odd ways. i make people get excited. i make money. i make the most attractive celebs look like gutter trash. heh heh heh...i make modesty nonexistant. Favorite Music: holy hellbags, this is tough - i've been a big electro-whore as of late ( thanks to my good space-disco bandmate, tobias berblinger): adult, mt. sims, crack we are rock, fischerspooner, miss kittin, peaches... but then i can't stop listening to gay hardhouse, gabber, techno and industrial...such as the berzerker, noisex, unit 187, delta 9, submerge 101, thomas krome, apocalypse theater, mistress barbara, the mad capsule markets, cari lekebusch, mindless self indulgence, swamp terrorists, prototype 909, front line assembly, bozo porno circus, andreas kramer, daft punk, alec empire, kid entropy ...rap crap like mc paul barman, outkast, princess superstar, 2 live crew, missy elliot, jam pony express, ... punk shit like state of fear, disrupt, raooul, dahmer, doom, code 13, the locust, all of mike patton's projects (most notably mr. bungle & tomahawk), deceived ... metal like sepultura, 7000 dying rats, L7, gwar, system of a down, twisted sister, ... geniuses like danny elfman, rob zombie & goblin ... classics like alice cooper, joan jett, lords of acid, ramones, richard hell & the voidoids, slayer, the clash, crass, thrill kill, the cramps... i've got a huge musical erection - i've also got a weekly internet radio show, where i've had members of: bozo porno circus (candyxXx), gwar (mattron), the berzerker (the-singer-who-wants-to-remain-anonymous), kid entropy and others live as cohosts. you can check out more info on either of my websites. Favorite Drink: iced coffee, or vanilla lattes, caramel macchiato, or just regular coffee, but it has to be STRONG - i want to see grounds floating in it as a garnish...heh heh...
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Turn-ons: angst-ridden teenage rednecks in phat jeans and wifebeaters, miniature donkeys, the surgery channel, absolute obsession, midgets in bondage gear, kindergardeners, dorks, nerds, anyone who probably got beaten up in high school, savage aural penetrations, stalkers, farm animals (so DIRTY), cyber transformations, interior decorating....
Turn-offs: feminism, interrupting, tv, blonde-cookiecutter models in swimsuits, chick flicks, responsibility, steven segall/fabio/baldwin/nicholas cage wannabes, dumb people, yuppies/businesswo/men/the rich/people who go to the tanner/fratboys, censorship, prudes, religion, art fags, romance, monkeys, scsi, reality, posers, chewing with your mouth open or making any sorta' gross sound when you're eating, political activists... Favorite Perversion: i love when people are into anything that your average joe would find disgusting. that's part of the inspiration behind craptabulous.com - if you go to the "consume" page and click on "naughty items", you'll see that i support the pervs. it's funny cuz' people get really fucking pissed off that i offer such things for sale, like peed-in panties, shit-in panties, toenail clippings, used tampons, etc. the hate mail is really fun to read because it's always illiterate bible dorks that write them, so it's easy to shoot them down. i mean, just because society has set certain sexual norms doesn't mean that everyone has the capacity to follow them. these people know what they're into is considered gross or deviant by mainstream, but they pursue it anyways - this takes some real fucking balls if you ask me.
 Favorite rockstar(s): peaches - that's mah gurl - great stage presence and she just doesn't give a FUCK! i would just say myself, but my band won't have anything out for at least a few months. Sinister Plans: i'm working on this superspy plan to make a pseudo time machine that PAUSES time, so that i can steal all the really cool platform boots from london and new york. i'd also have to go wipe my ass-smell on the us president's upper lip while he's completely incapable. MUAAA HAA HAAAA Favorite superhero: well, i'll have to say that i love myself as a superhero in a comic book that will come out SOMEDAY, where messy stench's alter-ego, camel toe, and the main character, spidermonkey, get it on superfriends style - drawn by my friend logan mcleod. i've also been drawn by tim seeley who is one of the radiskull/devildoll artists - he also based a character, industrielle, off my likeness in the most recent 'lovebunny & mr. hell" comic featuring savage dragon. Darkest Secret: my tits are fake, i'm actually a man, i have 12 fingers and 22 toes, i'm in a sorority and i only date football quarterbacks on pro teams, so line up, fuckers.
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Biggest strength or talent: i have this uncanny ability to make people laugh their asses off while achieving a full erection simultaneously. it's quite remarkable.
Biggest weakness or vice: i really hate stupid people. i can't even STRESS how much i hate them. i don't hate much of anything, but ignorant, closed-minded assholes can all just have an anal-intestinal blowout while sitting in a chair made of spikey salt spires. say THAT 10 times fast. Body part most willingly given up to feed a shipwrecked crew: my ass...just cuz' it would be fucking hilarious to see a bunch of sailors munching on my butt....HAHAHAHA Most desired genetic malformity: i think it would be cool to have fangs on my ass, so that when random dickbags grab it (as they have a tendency to), they'll get bit and the venom from my ass-fangs will make their penises fall off. because of this, their wives will be so unhappy with their "nully" husbands, so they'll leave them and become part of my own persona harem of bitches. A wish that would improve the world: improved self confidence and empathy - i mean, just think of the implications this would have...no war, no senseless criminal acts...though it may prove to make the world a completely boring place. no gossip, catfights or wrestling. pah! scrap that!! maybe i should just wish good sex upon everyone. i think it would do a better job of making everyone happy, really...
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